Grunt 15 Augustus 2012

The other day, I was interested to read about there being no traffic officers on duty after office hours, especially given that most accidents and collisions occur at night. Clearly, this is a problem that requires an urgent solution. But “urgent” is a relative term, depending, I suspect, on whose relatives are involved. But what would transpire if other 24/7 services adopted a similar attitude? Let’s imagine a hypothetical scenario of that sort for a moment. Somewhere along the freeway, around 10 p.m. on a Saturday night, a ghastly motor accident occurs. A Good Samaritan stops to help, sees the mess, and phones the traffic department. What she hears is a recorded message saying “The traffic department is open during normal business hours from Monday to Friday.” Desperately anxious to assist, and enormously frustrated, our Good Samaritan puts in a call for an ambulance, and all she hears is: “For emergencies, please note that we will be open again on Monday morning at 8 a.m.” In the meantime, the accident victims are quietly bleeding to death. Undeterred, the Good Samaritan loads the injured into her vehicle, and drives as fast as she can to the nearest hospital. (She knows she can exceed the speed limit dramatically because there are no traffic officers on duty.) Arriving at the emergency room with the accident victims slowly succumbing to the possibilities of death, the security guard at the gate informs her that she is welcome to park in the parking lot for the next seven hours until the staff arrive at 8 a.m. the next day. Is there some universal law stating that accidents and catastrophes have to happen during office hours? Should we plan them in advance? “Hello. Is that the traffic department? Could I arrange a car accident for myself and my wife on Wednesday about 3.30 p.m? No, not fatal. Just a collision. No? Oh, too close to knocking-off time. I see. So, what about Monday around 9 o’clock. Oh, always short-staffed on a Monday. So when would suit you then? Never. Yes! Yes! Of course I understand!”