Grunt 1 Augustus 2012

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Grunt 1 Augustus 2012

Last week, I had occasion to visit the Emergency Room. We were there for about two-and-a-half hours, which gave me another opportunity to observe the human species in action. Just across the ward from us, a man lay quietly; he had managed to get something in his eye. He was alone, initially at least. Then a female came in. From her behaviour, she was probably his wife. The man accompanying her was the patient’s brother. He made that quite audibly clear. When the doctor had done whatever he had to do, he summoned a nurse to administer some eyedrops. “So,” the patient said jokingly, “will this hurt, hey?” The nurse smiled as she opened his eyelids. “Yes,” she said, as she squeezed several drops into the man’s eye. There was a loud unmanly yelp from the patient. “You weren’t bloody joking, hey?” “No,” came the unruffled reply. A few moments later, she returned to put a patch over the injured eye. “Going to make me look like a pirate, hey?” Then his visitors helped the man to stand, his brother squawking, “Make way! Make way! Ship ahoy,” as they exited. No one thought it funny. In the bed alongside the recycled pirate from the Caribbean, a lady lay quite still, moving in and out of her comatose state. Her support group numbered four or five young adults. They were gabbling frenetically all the time we were there. Their excitement centred on swopping cell numbers and sharing phone pictures. “Hell, look at her! What a slag!” Luckily, the patient lay blissfully comatose throughout. The young girl alongside us had pain throughout her intestines. “You need to eat more fruit and vegetables”, the doctor advised, hearing the prodigious quantity of fast food she devoured daily. “Fruit and veggies?” “I told you!” mother snapped. “This will unclog your innards. Don’t plan on going anywhere for the next day or two except the toilet.” The doctor chuckled.

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