A few days before Father’s Day, my wife and I were doing some shopping in various places around town, and my attention was caught by the mountainous displays of goodies intended as gifts for the male parent. Examining these displays fairly attentively, I noticed that there were some interesting presumptions – almost exclusively stereotypical ones – about the male gender. So what did those shop displays seem to be suggesting about fathers? There were several items repeated with monotonous regularity in these displays, no matter what the retail outlet. Noticeable amongst these was braaiing equipment – tongs, fork, gloves, etc. – not forgetting the apron with some daft motto on it: “If you want a cook-up, I’ve got the tools!” The dubious sexual overtones are meant to be humorous, I presume.
Perhaps braaiing is all Dad can do, actually. There were some beer mugs nearby with nauseatingly cute mottos: “The World’s Best Dad”. So Dad’s a boozer? Alongside were some ashtrays. So we’re encouraging Dad’s nicotine addiction. And, of course, braaiing can be a messy, smelly business, like smoking, so there were numerous brands of deodorant and aftershave on the display, too. Obviously, Dad’s personal hygiene leaves something to be desired. And there were socks galore, to hide his ugly feet. And whole rows of coffee mugs. So, Dad’s got a caffeine addiction, too?
Mother’s Day is no less stereotypical with the pink slippers, pink dressing gowns, soaps and bath salts, all wrapped in pink. Just about the only pink thing that wasn’t on display was that famous pink roof insulation! Now, isn’t that an ingenious Mother’s Day gift? Self-evidently, someone must maintain the house while the old man’s boozing, smoking, braaiing, and watching rugby.
Then there’s Youth Day. Seriously, what presents can you give kids heading carelessly towards unbridled lawlessness? Socks? Beer? A bullet-proof vest?
So I propose we have a Successful Relationship Day for all who don’t qualify as parents. Marriage and/or kids aren’t obligatory for a flourishing partnership. But, right now, there are no corny gifts catering for such people. Perhaps someone should let the Chinese know?
Tony Ullyatt
