Grunt - 13 Februarie 2013

Sometimes, you get weekends like the one we had recently. We had to go to Johannesburg, a loathsome place at the best of times. So we headed off in a 35° Celsius morning, and, with the help of the GPS, found the street we were to travel along before we turned into the road where the guesthouse is. There was only one problem: the street before the turn was blocked off with temporary barriers because a local primary school was well under way with its athletics or swimming or perhaps both: swarms of small kids everywhere, all lugging oversized tog bags.

So I made a plan to circumvent the school; all went well until I found myself in the middle of a street, bumper to bumper with a lady, her white hair in a tight bun, clenching the steering-wheel of a bulky 4x4, sandwiched between endless rows of parked cars. There was sufficient room behind her to back off but she refused to budge. I couldn’t budge. Finally, she reversed the necessary three metres, and allowed me to pass while mouthing obscenities at me. Ah, Jozi!

At the guest house, there was no electricity: a massive power failure. With no air conditioning, a long muggy night awaited us. We escaped to a highly recommended eatery in Melville for supper. They had no air conditioning either, and their exotic fish dish (according to the menu) proved to be an anonymous sort of marine creature boiled in unseasoned water. Utterly tasteless, it set me back more than a hundred bucks.

Mid-morning Sunday, we set off on the return. Along the freeway, I was stopped by a traffic officer. We had a little chat: “Good morning, sir” he said, smiling.
“Not good if you’re going to fine me”.
“How can I make it good?”
I told him about my forthcoming birthday. He held out his hand; I shook it: “Happy birthday, sir. No ticket. My birthday present for you. Oh, and drive a little bit slower!” He waved me on, smiling. Could this be a Leon Schuster movie perhaps? Apparently not...
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